Forcing

Dragon cave is a conspiracy to glue all the [[16-year-old

girl | Teenage Girls]] in the Internets to something other than their webcams run by a

complete drama whore who goes by the name of T.J. Lipscomb. Ok, so it's not

really a game so much as it's really staring vacantly at a screen clicking madly while

your soul is being sucked into the void, and TJ is not so much a moderator as the

Queen Twat, but who's counting?

The Average Dragon Cave User
Spotting a Dragon Cave User is incredibly easy!


 * Glassy, vacant eyes
 * Dry skin and overall poor hygiene [[Image:Typicaldcuser.png|right|thumb|A typical

Dragon Cave user.]]
 * Incredible intelligence levels
 * Membership to the Anti-Boys club


 * Constant droning on and on about very important Dragon Cave stuff
 * Extreme protectiveness of said Very important Dragon Cave stuff
 * Female and/or Jailbait. If they claim to be older, they usually are

seven.
 * Very sad Pedobear shaking his head and crying nearby.

[[Image:YellowSnow-DC.jpg|right|thumb|Yellow Snow- Dragon Cave's favorite

treat!]]Elite Dragon Cave players have permanent PMS. Almost all of them have

raging hardons for TJ and gladly suck his e-penis whenever he whips it out in front

of them (which is frequently). They are even Smarter than the normal

Dragon Cave users and love to flaunt it at every single opportunity. Time not spent

sucking E-Penis is spent roleplaying out Awesome Dragon [[Mary Sue|

Roleplay Characters]] notable for having zero physical descriptions and almost always

the same personalities.

The moderators are useless Aspies noted for their special

maturity levels and being total cunts. The loudest of them are notable

Otherkin and are even more protective of the Dragon Cave bullshit than normal as

they don't know the difference between real dragons and

shitty pixel art "dragons". Time not spent jerking it to Dragon "art" is spent

bashing newbies into the ground for asking WTF is up with the total lack of

information on how to play this game. God forbid someone let slip one of Dragon

Cave's Awesome Secrets!

Rules of Dragon Cave
Dragon Cave operates under a strict code of silence. Anyone who so much as says a

peep about the many secrets of the dragon cave will be eaten by T.J.

Once any word is uttered about the many incredible secrets of Dragon Cave, the

banhammer Comes down leading to Loli Pancakes and lots of Baw

wwwing.

Dragon Cave Players are encouraged to necro topics instead of creating new topics as,

according to faux moderator Sabbita

"[http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=26020 "It saves

bandwidth"]. Apparently Bandwidth and server space are the same in Dragon Cave

due to some quirk of computer physics. As a consequence, posting any

thread, even if it only barely resembles a locked thread from three years ago, results in

thread locking and possibly a big celebration concluded with the summoning of the

Party Van.

The Admins are also apparently very fragile and possibly emo.... ''If you have an issue with the site admin, take it to PMs. If you post it in the forums,

everyone will jump into the thread, causing lag and stress and bad feelings,

eventually resulting in the site admin '''feeling so worthless because everyone is

insulting them that they just pack up and leave.'-- sabbita/Layn

(link here)

... so please, coddle the Admins. They NEED you!

This place is just screaming to be trolled.

TJ09: the Queen Twat
If the game being a boring clickfest run by overprotective commies who are so afraid

that you'll figure out water dragons hatch from blue eggs wasn't enough, behold the

trainwreck that is TJ09- the Queen Twat and creator of this atrocity.

"TJ09", AKA T.J. Lipscomb, is a 17-year old from somewhere

in the USA with a massive yet amazingly fragile ego. Most likely he is a furfag,

otherkin and most likely secretly a cuntboy. TJ's hobbies include stealing shitty

pixel art from videogames, getting nailed for stealing shitty pixel art from

videogames, seducing teenage girls into making him draw shitty

replacement art, and throwing tantrums when others don't do exactly as he says.

How to Treat your Users
One day in the fall of 2008 the teenage girls got sick and tired of the Admins' trigger-

happy banhammer and censorship of even the most basic aspects of play and decided

to make a thread called [http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?

showtopic=26015 How To Treat your Users] with the hopes that TJ would mend his

evil ways. The resulting emo comments and flamestorm reached a category

five on the lulz scale. Here are a few choice excerpts from the horse's mouth.

'You know what? You're right. Clearly I cannot handle both what is going on in life

right now without having my stress roll over into how I act on this forum. So instead,

I'll abstain from visiting this forum until things calm down to the point where I can

actually deal with people in a polite manner.''--TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 05:09 PM

''People. I did not post here to be a drama queen and attract everyone's pity. The OP

has valid points, so stop flaming them. '' --TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 06:06 PM

The Site Admin TJ09 (T.J. Lipscomb) changed his title to '''Clearly too rude for this

forum''' after locking the thread.



[http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=26030 A great big

Bawwwww] rose out of the forums after the How to Treat your Users thread was

locked with all the girls scared that TJ had left the site 4EVA!!! Dozens of members

started sporting "I support TJ" buttons and banners while bawwing extra loud at

everyone who suggested that Mayyybe TJ was wrong and that maybe he needed to

grow a pair and stop being such a twat. Dozens of "we support TJ", "We Love TJ"

and "please come screw us TJ!" threads cropped up, spamming out all notable

content from the forums in most sections of the site. A few users pledged to leave the

forums as well in honor of TJ's leaving the forums.

Though everyone hoped they would not return, most never left and neither did TJ.

Instead he instead began lurking instead of moderating his own forums leading to

massive spam and after listening to butthurt fangirls crying over him supposedly

leaving the site 4EVA!! he posted a news post called "Uhou Idcesbot!"

Uhou Idcesbot!
What started as a

news post in

Saurian (no shit, TJ is so lame he makes announcements in the language

from the Starfox games) became a rant fest of epic proportions once

someone found a Real Life picture of TJ and posted it. TJ saw this, panicked

and wiped the thread to try to remove all traces. He then proceeded to show how

much more mature than the rest of the forum he is....

Translation: ''Well aren't you all reaaaaaaaaaaaaal mature. srsoy. Break my forum... psh.''

''By the, this topic is far from record-setting. News topics have gotten to 2YY pages

before.''

This had absolutely nothing to do with the initial post into which the new

"anouncement" was edited and everything to do with the fact that apparently the

Dragon Cave forums handle massive numbers of posts about as well as TJ

handles his users. The display of asshattery and wiping the thread of all posts did not

stem the tide of posts, however, and the thread was up to over 200 posts and rising

within 20 minutes of the wipe, many of which basically could be summarized as

Stfu. Feeling butthurt that his cry for attention and attempt to cover-up his ugly

mug failed to pan out as intended, TJ wiped the thread a second time, locking

it, and completely shut down the forums. When the forums came back up online the

above image had been deleted.

faux mod Sabbita/Layn
A self-important 12 year-old girl who likes to

think she is not only a moderator but good at computers. After this article

was found she changed her screenname to "Layn" to try to throw off the

trolls. This might have worked if she didn't keep the same avatar, attitude,

posting style, deleted every single one of her 5,000+

posts and burned her Dragon Cave scroll. In fact, using a

picture of herself as her avatar didn't help.

Her main claim to fame is being even more paranoid and anal than 50 Elite

Dragon Cave users combined! She flits around the forum to spew her opinion

everywhere and actually think it means something, when really what most of the kids

is roll their eyes and skip her posts. Newbies think she's a mod. TJ's fangirls think

she's a god. The rest of us think she needs to Shut the fuck up.

When not being a drama whore, Sabbita is busily churning out nauseatingly-bad

dragon "sprites". She likes to whine when it looks like her sprites are not

the favorites in a thread because she's so special.

She also likes vandalizing this article with the very clever alternate name of

Magicdragon on ED.

They found us!
In the local Art Nazi thread

(OMG posting the sprites with credit is BAD, m'kay, and results in polite mails to

STOP SPREADING TEH SECRETZ) they actually found and posted a

link to this thread.

Thanks for the FREE traffic to all guide sites like this that would have otherwise gone

unnoticed, thus preserving your secrets! Thanks, geniuses.

Preserved for posterity, some posts of interest.
''I don't think this can be reported just for being incredibly offensive, but it does have

a few dragon stages and some information about them. Just a warning: it is incredibly

offensive. And sab - both you and TJ are mentioned personally.''

If this has already been mentioned, my bad. -- SockPuppet Strangler Feb 10 2009,

04:37 PM

............. ............... ............ ''who. do. I. talk. to?''

''I emailed the support contact. the disclaimer said that guides are meant to be "funny"

and anything that goes beyond will be deleted. pointed out how offensive it is.'' --

sabbita/Layn Feb 10 2009, 04:40 PM

''I already brought it up with the mods, and the basic consensus is tacking ED would

cause more trouble than it's worth. I personally would love to see that page gone

though.'' -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 04:50 PM

''Ugh...ED...god I hate that site. It disgusts me, but there's really nothing we can do.

It's like going to 4chan and telling them to stop acting like morons. Not going to

happen.''

''and I believe that really....we shouldn't be going after these guides so

maliciously...'''it's just making us all look like raging control freaks...fact is, we don't

have power over the rest of the internet'''.  If, like Komodo said, they're making profit off it somehow, then we can get them, but

if they're just posting it in a forum and not making profit off it....nothing we can do.

It's not like it's THAT difficult to figure out what turns into what anyway, and as long

as they're not advertising the guides on here, they aren't really doing anything wrong,

yes to us they are, but the fact is our ToS holds no value at another site.''

'If one gets super popular and becomes annoying, then we should go try to get it

down, but we can't get rid of every guide, we shouldn't really be trying.' -- shikaru

Feb 10 2009, 05:45 PM (this means SPREAD THE LINK!)

''.... T.T They're claiming the "educational" part of fair use in copyright law from what

I can tell, and that is NOT what the educational thing is for. It's so that schools can

copy material to hand out to students.'' -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 06:41 PM

'Oh, and I'm probably going to end up wiping most of this thread tomorrow when I

have time' -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 08:01 PM (wuss Nazi.)

''sent an email to their (ED) "support" email..... and guess what? their "support" email,

for you to contact in case you have a problem with it being "insulting" rather than

"funny".... doesn't exist! lol!'' -- sabbita/Layn Feb 12 2009, 01:42 PM

''can I ask a question? isn't it kind of silly to post the links to all these egg guides when

you don't want people to know what they're getting??'' -- manticore Feb 13 2009,

10:02 PM

''You know guys, it is best to ignore ED. It's run and maintained by Anon, and

therefore there is no way to actually get them to stop doing whatever it is they feel

like doing. Any attempt to "retaliate" against them only results in a longer ED article

and higher potential for us becoming targeted for a raid.''

''Though it should be noted that whoever wrote the article is clearly not familiar with

the rules of the Internet. It claims that this forum is full of teenage girls, and one of

the Rules is that there are no girls on the Internet. :V'' -- Lythiaren Feb 13

2009, 08:31 PM

''QUOTE (Loli @ Feb 15 2009, 03:44 AM) How in the world is that cheating? If we had some magical program that auto hatched

eggs or changed what came out of it that would be a cheat. It's called a guide for a

reason genius! If you don't want people to know without hatching their own eggs you

might as well block access to all scrolls too. Most people would be able to put two

and two together and realize what adults and hatchlings come out of what eggs after

seeing a few scrolls. Hell that's how I decided on my own eggs in the first place.''

''QUOTE (Layn @ Feb 15 2009, 12:51 AM) the point of the cave is to learn what egg hatches into what on your own. that is how tj

designed it. Posting guides is against this, as they reveal to anyone what becomes

what, and takes away teh challenge that is the game. learning what tehy hatch into still

takes some thought.''

Do you even read what you post or are you just parroting that from everyone else? --

Seiken no Hisui in reply to Sabbita/Layn and Loli Feb 15 2009, 03:57 AM

Thread Wipe!! with rewrite of first post:'' This is not a

thread for discussion. Just post the link or links in question and leave. Do not respond

to others' posts unless you have pertinent information to add. '''If you find dragcave art

on a website and it is not being posted as a collectible or in strict relation to dragcave

(as a scroll link, etc) please post a link to it here''' or report it to the site if it is one

such as deviantart where they will remove it. Even if it has a "from dragcave" tag

somewhere it is still likely to be theft, as you are not allowed to use dragcave art

without permission from the artist (and the artists are not likely to have given

permission). This is especially true if the poster has edited it and is not giving credit. I

greatly dislike egg guides, but '''as long as they are not claiming to have permission

and there aren't any adds on the guide don't bother posting them'''. They're more

trouble to take down than they're worth. '' -- This post has been edited by

Pokemonfan13 on Feb 15 2009, 08:07 PM (contradict much?)

=What Dragon Cave does not want you to know= These are the highly guarded secrets of Dragon Cave. Posting these on the Dragon

Cave or any affiliated site will get you banned, flamed until black and cripsy by

teenage girls, and then eaten by TJ. In the interest of free speech and saving time for

anyone who might ever contemplate joining Dragon Cave, these dark secrets must be

brought to light! Without these dearly-kept secrets there would be far fewer [[16-year

-old girl]]s glued to the screen and madly clicking and Pedobear would be much

happier.

Think of the Pedobear- spread the secrets.

All art is copyright the wonderful artists at [http://dragcave.net/ Dragon

cave]. Thank you.

Updated: Now there's a Wikia site dedicated to this site. To help put less

information and shitty pixel art on here, read what you want at

that site. Queen Twat found his

brain and realised other people had brains too and could actually work out

what dragon came from what egg. About fucking time too.

Pokemon Night
On the night of April Fools, TJ decided to whip out his e-penis and

replaced half the sprites on DC with Pokemon sprites. Much

BAWWWWING arose as the Art Nazis realised that for the few minutes they

used those sprites without credit, Nintendo would sue DC. Others simply

Bawwwed about the admin's account getting hacked while some posted that

they couldn't get to sleep because they were crying too hard about not knowing what

was happening (unfortunately we couldn't retrieve this post as TJ [[Delete fucking

everything|deleted the thread]], surprise). Yet no one stopped to realise [[Fail|it was

April Fool's night anyway]].

St Patrick's Day
Many members decided to join the usual Elite DC players in

awaiting to see if TJ would release new shitty pixel art. Much to their

dismay this didn't happen plus the fact that so many people where on the

site, DC had a server crash. Bawwing occured once more as people

could not check up on their dragons and even more Bawwing occured when

their pixels got killed as the server was down for 2-3 weeks. Once TJ

restored the server though, the 16 year old girls hailed his work

and sucked his e-penis hard.

"The dragon god TJ is all merciful... if you can bring Cherry Blossoms back, I will

worship/idolize you forever..." - Moonfeather13 Jul 23 2009, 04:05 PM

Asshattery at its greatest:

''You enter the cave as you did daily to adopt a dragon hatchling or egg, adding to your

family. But what you find were no dragons, no eggs, only something else, something

much more sinister than the annoying Lagmonster Dragon you tackled once before.

Piles of adult dragon and hatchling bones scattered about as well as egg shells of

various dragons. A low growl is heard as you enter the cave and soon you find your

path blocked by a sinister dragon that was feared by all. Sharp fangs gnawing in flesh

as claws ripped apart everything in its path. Solid datachip wings were folded to its

back as its red eyes of death make you shriek in terror....you were staring into the eyes

of none other than the Datamonster!''

''All was thought to be lost for the beloved dragons and there was thought to be no

hope in rescuing them, no matter how hard the owners tried. The Datamonster was

just too strong! Just then, a knight stood out amongst them all by the name of TJ09.''

''Raising his trusty sword-of-recovering, TJ09 took a mighty swing at the

Datamonster's vile bloated stomach. The awesome power of sword rent asunder the

evil beast hide, releasing and reviving all the dragons trapped within. The

Datamonster let out a final mighty roar of anguish, clawing at the sky as if trying

return the escaping dragons to his gaping maw. Having released the dragons TJ09

made a mighty leap and with one sure sweep of his magnificent sword beheaded the

vile Datamonster, ending it's threat once and for all!''

''But, unbeknown to TJ and the revived dragons, The ferocious and evil Datamonster

still clung to the mortal coil. As the brave knight walked away, the cybernetic beast's

limbs began to twitch, nearly imperceptible to the eye. Then the camera panned in on

the creature's severed head, as it's glowing red eye slowly opened up and narrows,

vowing to seek revenge.''

''TJ09 is now a hero! He lead the way as all the dragons returned home to their

beloved families. The owners cried with joy as they were reunited with their beloved

dragons. TJ09 smiled, knowing the journey was long, the battle was hard but all in all,

it was worth it all. With the mission completed, the brave and heroic knight

disappeared into the light, awaiting for the next time his help would be needed.'' -

Aug 12 2009, 01:50 PM

Fangirl Says No More!
Dovealove, the 'artist' with the most shitty pixel art on the site, had a fight with TJ and

decided she would remove all the art she ever contributed to the site. Not that we're

complaining, less shitty art the better! However! Trouble ensues!

''"Hopefuly this will slap some sense into the community, tj included to treat their

artists better" - bluebell rose Jan 30 2010, 08:16 PM''

More lulz was created on the thread when the mods themselves began bickering in

the thread. TJ, being the prick he is, treated the 16 year old girls like shit

because being fangirls, they would never stop sucking that e-penis. This seems more like a repeat of the past,

[/Dragon_Cave#How_to_Treat_your_Users "How to treat your users"]. Sources have

revealed that Attention-Whore twat TJ had tried to dominate and control

everything on the site and obviously couldn't handle it. This is also why he is the only

admin on the forum and why no one else has the amount of eggs under their name as

him.

http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=81010&st=0

And of course, the mods have locked this to prevent bawwwing because their egos are

just too fragile to handle it. And before they delete fucking everything:

Later on it was discovered this was all an elaborate plan to manipuate the

DC users into complaining and giving the fangirls more rights. As stated by

Marrionetta:

''"Request denied. Get back in the spriting kitchen, woman." - Jan 30 2010, 07:31 PM''